


so close, and yet

by WhiteRose_Is_My_Life



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt, Indiana Jones AU, slight leather fetish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 02:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19308493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteRose_Is_My_Life/pseuds/WhiteRose_Is_My_Life
Summary: Dr. Ayanami is both on the run from Asuka and in pursuit of the legendary Holy Grail. When Rei finds the holy artifact, will she secure it’s safety, or will Asuka throw yet another wrench in her plans? (Indiana Jones Holy Grail AU)





	so close, and yet

**Author's Note:**

> this was a commission i did like two years ago that i never got around to posting but with the worst version of Eva i’ve ever seen on netflix i felt like posting it
> 
> my twitter is @wrcassnessa

The hot sun glared down on Rei Ayanami as she searched through the cluttered terrain for the cave. If the map was correct, she was getting close and the anticipation was building up in her heart. She’d managed, several days earlier, to drop her trail and hopefully throw Asuka’s trackers off of her, which would mean she would have time to get the grail and leave before anyone even knew she was there. It was going to have to be precise, but Rei was nothing if not precise. 

She came up on the cave in question about a half hour later, noting surprise at its normalcy. To most it would just look like any other cave and would generally be avoided at all costs for fear of the animals that could be living within. Rei grabbed a small torch out of her bag and placed it on the ground in front of her, then proceeding to grab the flint and steel she’d stashed a few days earlier. It only took a couple tries to light up her torch, and she was on her way. 

Even about halfway in, the cave seemed normal, but Rei spotted something that most untrained eyes would miss. A cross, carved haphazardly into the stone wall, the top of the cross pointing to her left, though she saw that the cave lead to her right. This meant that there was, most likely, some kind of mechanism in play here that would lead her in the right direction. 

It took several minutes of searching, but eventually she found it, a small indent in the cave wall, that when pressed lightly, moved in. Doing so had opened the way, a large stone moving from where it had been to reveal the passageway, small enough that Rei had to crawl through it if she even wanted to think about getting to the other side. Nice symbolism, she thought, comparing the rock moving out of her way to the rock that moved out of the way when Jesus was resurrected. 

When she emerged from the tunnel, she immediately noticed several things. The first was the body of a man in armor who looked very much like the knight said to be guarding the grail, and the second was that all the grails that were supposed to be laid out on the stone were strewn across the ground. She didn’t even have time to register that before she heard a voice behind her. 

“You know, I can’t say I always enjoy this little game of cat and mouse we play, Dr. Ayanami.” Rei whipped around, ducking instinctively and pulling her revolver out of it’s holster in one practiced motion, ending with her seeing Asuka looking cockily down the barrel of Rei’s gun. In Asuka’s  hand was a small chalice, gleaning in the meager light of the firelit room. Rei spied it almost immediately but her eyeline did not go unnoticed and Asuka brought the item into the light. 

“The grail…” said Rei, her attention now completely off Asuka. That didn’t last long, however, because it was around that time that Rei noticed another gleam in the light. The leather of Asuka’s boots shined at her and Rei took the time to really take in Asuka in all of her glory. 

Her long time rival was no stranger to fashion, often showing up to rather dangerous situations looking like she’d dressed for a party and this time was no exception. The gloves holding the grail were the first thing she noticed, Asuka’s particular affinity for all things leather not lost on Rei. She noticed just how intricately the gloves fit to Asuka’s slender fingers, seeming to be tailored exactly to her specifics, with the small stitches seeming to have been done by a very precise hand. Rei wondered, briefly, what the gloves would feel like against her skin, but that thought went as fast as it came. 

The next thing Rei noticed immediately were Asuka’s almost trademark heels. The leather was tight-fitting to Asuka’s already shapely legs, raising her off the ground high enough to where she was just taller than Rei. They shined dimly in the torchlight, capturing Rei’s gaze on the heels poking ever so slightly into the ground, and for a moment, she lost herself in that sensation. The leather of Asuka’s outfit, the I-Know-Exactly-What-I-Am-Doing-To-You smirk on Asuka’s face, it was almost too much for Rei to handle. Almost.  

“I have been here far longer than you, Dr. Ayanami. I must say I’m quite disappointed by your lack of punctuality, like honestly, can you even try to beat me in anything? It gets boring winning all the time without any kind of challenge.” 

Rei ignored her, largely, to focus on the much more daunting matter of the fact that Asuka, her greatest rival, was currently holding the key to immortal life in her gloved hands. Rei didn’t talk much anyway, and she knew that Asuka absolutely hated being ignored, so she did exactly that, pulling a piece of parchment out of her bag. 

“For those who lay their hands upon the grail: Know that you must choose wisely. Certain death shall come to those who choose hubris. Know that there is no life given without life taken; should you drink from the grail, you shall be granted eternal life but shall also never be able to leave the cave with the grail, for if you cross the seal you shall surely die.” Rei read aloud, noticing Asuka’s features distort into more of a scowl than her usual smirk. 

“I hold the key to everlasting life in my hands and you want to care about RULES? Goddammit, Rei, this is why we could never be anything more than rivals, you have no idea when to stop and have never cared about anything but your job in your entire life, it’s so-” Asuka cut herself off, using the gloved hand that wasn’t holding the grail to brush lightly against the top of her boot, clearly calming to her to brush the leather against leather. 

“You’re reckless, Asuka. You’re reckless and you’re power-hungry, and I have no intention to go down with your ship while on a perfectly safe one of my own.” Rei said back, moving ever so slightly closer to her rival, hoping Asuka would be too preoccupied to notice. Immediately after Rei had closed her mouth, she realized she’d set Asuka off and was not prepared for the verbal onslaught she was about to endure. 

“That’s the thing with you, you’re always so goddamn safe! You build walls against anyone who wants to be let in, against anyone who tries to learn even the slightest thing about you because it’s so fucking foreign to you that anyone could like you and want you in a way that I’m not even sure you’re capable of feeling!” Rei said nothing, still slowly moving closer, and Asuka continued. 

“Even back when we were all going to school together, you still wouldn’t let anyone in. Shinji was mine, but never truly mine because you could tell that within minutes of looking at you he had completely forgotten about me entirely, and you were always treating him as if you didn’t know he was absolutely head over heels for you!” Asuka raged and tears pricked at the ends of her eyes as she glared at the girl across from her, and to vent a bit of her anger she stomped her foot, slamming the end of her high heel into the stone, causing a loud noise. 

The statements hit Rei like a punch to the stomach. “Shinji...had feelings for me? No, I- He was dating you, he couldn’t-” Rei stumbled for words, trying to get something, anything, some kind of confirmation from herself that her now-dead partner had loved her way more than she thought he had. 

“Of course he did, you idiot! And you were always spending time with him too! He would cancel on me constantly just to go study with you, and you always took him up on it! You never even paid attention to the girl who was always at his side because he was too bright of a light for you to see past!” She stomped her foot again, and she willed her tears to remain in her eyes.

Rei was looking at her now, actually, truly, AT her. She looked...vulnerable, and hurt, and Rei couldn’t even possibly think of a response to her statements. She watched Asuka seethe, watched her red hair flow behind her like fire raising from her pure anger, long strands pouring over her almost entirely leather outfit. Asuka didn’t end there, though, and before Rei could even manage to give a response, Asuka continued in her rage. 

“And now- Now we play this stupid game of cat and mouse. I didn’t even care about the relics at first, I just wanted you to notice me! To acknowledge me, to treat me like you knew I existed! Everyone else adored me at that school, I could’ve had anyone I wanted, and everyone was willing to do anything at my beck and call except YOU!” Rei flinched, slightly. 

“At first?” She echoed, looking to meet Asuka’s eyes. 

“Of course that’s the only thing you got out of that,” Asuka sighed, her eyes dropping along with her momentary rage. “Yes, at first. The relics meant nothing to me then, but now, this relic, this grail will grant me everything I have ever wanted, and you will finally see me for what I am.” 

Asuka moved to get the water to fill, but noticed that Rei had been moving while she was talking and now stood in between her and the water she needed to fulfill her dreams. That would mean nothing normally, but this time Rei was holding a gun. Rei noticed that Asuka noticed where they were standing in relation to both each other and the water, and tightened her grip on her weapon. She had no current plans to actually shoot Asuka, but she would under no circumstances let the crimson-haired beauty drink a single drop. 

Rei made a split second decision, and swiftly moved over to Asuka. She locked her lips on to the other woman’s throat and Asuka let out a sound that could only be a mix between a gasp and a moan. “I’m seeing you now,” Rei said softly, and started to trail her fingertips down Asuka’s arms. She felt the fleece shirt Asuka was wearing, and when she got to Asuka’s leather gloves, she rubbed gently, enjoying the feeling of the leather on her skin. 

It took Asuka almost no time at all to quickly change her pace, going from cocky and firm to desperate and needy. She nipped at Rei’s earlobe and Rei shuddered, feeling Asuka’s fingers leave hers and feeling the gloves on her face seconds later, the soft leather brushing against her tender skin. 

Rei felt Asuka’s gloved hands on either side of her face as Asuka pulled her face up and turned in one swift motion, pinning Rei against the stone wall and kissing her, putting one leather-booted leg in between both of Rei’s own legs. Rei felt the leather against her bare legs, felt Asuka’s heel dig ever so slightly into her leg, and new that this was the time to make her move. Her arm shot out in a quick attempt to grab the grail from Asuka, but she ended up missing and knocking herself into the other girl, breaking both the moment and her concentration. 

“I-I knew it was fake! You, I-!” Asuka fumed, but Rei immediately noticed two things. One, she had not been successful in grabbing the grail, and two, she had lost her gun in the tumble and it now resided in Asuka’s other gloved hand. 

Rei watched helplessly and Asuka angrily strode over to the water basin and dipped the grail in, then turning back to the blue-haired girl. Rei watched Asuka point her own gun at her and panicked slightly, wondering if she had truly, permanently, messed up. 

“ _ I _ am the greatest treasure seeker of all time,  _ I  _ found the holy grail,  _ I’m  _ going to live forever and you aren’t! You are going to die here after I make sure you know just how much  _ better  _ than you I really am!” Asuka yelled, tears now falling slowly from her eyes, as she moved towards the better lit part of the cage, the sun beaming down on the seal in front of both knight statues. 

“Watch me,” Asuka starts, “Watch me prove that I’m better than you. Watch me gain eternal life. Watch me get everything I want while you get NOTHING!” Asuka spreads her arms, backing up closer and closer to the seal, and a small rumble shakes the cave. Asuka brought the grail to her lips, keeping eye contact with Rei the whole way. 

Asuka finally closed her eyes as she took the sip, but in doing so took a ditzy step backwards, and a much larger and much more urgent tremor shook the cave. Rei, starting to notice cracks in the stone beneath them both. 

“You have to stop, you’ll get-” 

“Shut up! I know your game, Doctor! You just want to steal the grail for yourself!” Asuka said, and if to vent her point, she stomped slightly backwards, and the seal below her shattered. Several loud tremors shook the cave, and Rei realized in that moment that Asuka had crossed the seal after having drank from the grail.  _ Certain death. You shall surely die. Certain death. You shall surely die.  _ The statements bounced around in her head, and she looked to Asuka fearfully. 

Asuka moved desperately, the rest of the water she hadn’t imbibed having been spilled. She looked fearfully at Rei, and then at the basin of water. Asuka tried to move, tried to sprint away, but her heel cracked and broke, having been hit against the stone floor one too many times. Asuka tripped, and the grail fell into a sizable crack that had formed between the two of them, resting on a small cliff just out of reach. Rei saw what Asuka was looking at and what she was about to do and rushed forward, managing to grab her arm just as she moved into the crack. 

“Stop-” She started, but was quickly interrupted. 

“I will have my destiny! I will have my glory, you can’t stop me!” Asuka yelled, trying to inch her was out of Rei’s grip and closer to the grail. She could sense it, it was within her reach, if she could just stretch her leather-covered fingertips just a bit farther-

“Asuka, please,” Rei tried again, but she noticed quickly that her words fell on deaf ears. She could see that nothing mattered to Asuka more than the grail. 

Rei saw the first sign of Asuka’s glove slipping and began to panic. The leather was moving, slowly, so slowly, out of her grip. Her hands were sweaty and dusty, dirtying the thick leather glove that was ever-so-softly slipping away from Asuka’s hand. Rei tries, in vain, to adjust her grip, to get some secure hold on Asuka. 

Asuka looks up, and their eyes meat, colors clashing against each other. Rei sees Asuka’s fiery hear swishing and she swears in that moment that Asuka looks like an angel. She sees the deep passion and pain in Asuka’s eyes, and she gets lost in them momentarily, stretching seconds into what seems like hours. 

She feels the atmosphere slow around her, and the only thing she sees is Asuka, her hair like a bright burning flame, her eyes like pools and her hand, slipping out of sleek black leather and for the first time in a long time, Rei experiences fear. It gnaws at her insides, and it keeps repeating one thing.  _ Asuka is going to die, and you cannot save her, no matter how much you love her. _

Wait. 

Wait. 

Rei loved her. Rei loved Asuka, oh my god, Rei loved Asuka and she had never told her and never let herself experience the feeling because Asuka had been with Shinji-

“I LOVE YOU!” Rei yells, desperate, pleading. Asuka gives her a wild look, then looks to the grail, and back at Rei. “I LOVE YOU, AND NONE OF THIS MATTERS WITHOUT YOU, PLEASE LET THE GRAIL GO, YOU’RE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT AND I LOVE YOU AND I CAN’T DO THIS WITHOUT YOU, PLEASE-” 

Rei is silenced by the sound of Asuka’s hand slipping from the glove. She watches Asuka fall and watches how her leather still shines, how her hair still flows, as she continues to fall, and fall, and fall. 

All she has left is a glove. She looks at it, holds it to her face, feeling the soft leather and imagining it’s still Asuka’s touch. And then, she lets it all out. Rei loses it, letting every repressed emotion, every fiber of her being scream out in agony as she wails. It does not bring Asuka back. 

She watches the cave crumble around her. Watches the grail fall to the same darkness Asuka did, wants to fling herself in there if just to be able to see Asuka again for mere moments, to wonder if Asuka was in pain when she died. 

Rei loved her. Rei loved Asuka, Rei had loved Asuka, Rei had always loved Asuka and she couldn’t help thinking about how things may have turned out if she’d told her sooner, Rei-

-stopped. Rei stopped, suddenly, and her face went from one of pain to her usual neutral mask. Asuka wouldn’t have wanted her to kill herself, or bombard herself with what if’s, or spend her time grieving. Asuka would want her to continue doing what she loved even if it meant doing so without the person she loved. 

Asuka would want her to be strong, so she was strong. 

She stood up and walked out of the cave into the bright sunlight. She looked up at it, squinting, and was sure for a second that it resembled Asuka’s hair perfectly. “I love you,” she whispered. 


End file.
